About Gesualdi
The Loneliest Spaceman
I hate writing about myself. It always feels like a rather pitiful ego-driven exercise, a constant balancing act between extolling one’s own virtues while still remaining humble. This is made especially hard by the fact that I paradoxically have both the burning flair of a showman and the self-esteem of a corpse, so I hope you’ll bear with me as I stumble my way through this minor essay.
I was born Christopher Vito Gesualdi, my mother deciding that Vito was a ridiculous old-world Italian name and that a nice “normal” name like Christopher would help me fit in among my peers. This mattered little, as once they were old enough to realize the first syllable of my last name was a synonym for male ejaculate, my classmates refused to call me by anything else. Many years later, whist covering myself in fake blood for the filming of an epic Road Warrior-esque knife battle I realized my mothers’ attempts to raise a “normal” boy had failed. And so, I assumed my ridiculous old-world Italian middle name (Vito) for the purposes of introducing myself to people. But to my friends and colleagues, I am and always will be; simply; Gesualdi.
As you look about my portfolio of mine, it should be obvious that I have a very diverse range of skills; skills I’m always working to improve. I’ve always been that way. Most kids when asked what they want to be have a simple answer. Astronaut. And I wanted to be an astronaut too, but I also wanted to be a great writer, and a comic book artist, a comedian, and so on. I grew up thinking that someday I’d have to make a decision, figure out the one career path that really defined me. Eventually, I realized there was nothing further from the truth, and I’ve been blessed with the chance to enjoy a variety of awesome jobs, excelling at each in my own way. Some of my past work…
• Top Electronics Boutique salesman across twelve districts
• Web & graphic designer for a professional Dominatrix (kinky!)
• Internet marketing manager with 30+ clients
• Lead art director on an awesome Xbox video game
• Staff journalist and content provider for a major video gaming news outlet
• Editor-in-Chief of a gaming media site with over 2,000,000 YouTube video views
• Social media manager for a company so big it would be a lawsuit-worthy offense to tell people I ran their Twitter
My logo, the little spaceship up there, is; aside from being the first thing I ever drew in Adobe Illustrator; also a brief summary of my philosophy. I believe people can do just about anything, assuming they obey the laws of physics and study up on the perils of time paradoxes before building that flux capacitor. I consider myself many things, a writer; an artist; a journalist; a comedian; an actor; a graphic designer; a web guru… hell, I’ve even been known to bust out a freestyle rap if the beat hits me right (please don’t ask me to prove this skill, it’s humiliating). Point is I don’t think it’s going to happen, but if tomorrow I woke up and decided I wanted to be an astronaut, then rather than weigh that sudden life decision with any semblance rationality I’d be running out the door with my space helmet on. And if NASA won’t have me then to hell with them. I’ll just strap some booster rockets to an oil drum and hope for the best.
That’s just who I am, tell me I can’t do something and I’ll risk terrible injury to myself just to prove you wrong. Tell me that dreams are an intangible resource incapable of powering a rocket and I’ll happily ride that impossible spacecraft all the way to the stars.
In short, I am a goofy-looking Italian kid in need of work. Hopefully we’ll be in touch.
God bless.
C. Vito Gesualdi
VitoGesualdi@gmail.com