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![[ Letters ]](/gfx/letters1.gif) | Friday, June 18, 2004 |
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![[ Letters ]](/gfx/div-interact.gif)
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Put A Spin On It
Chris Gesualdi - 06-18-04
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of its moderator and contributors.
Here, incendiary remarks freely intertwine with liberal obscenity to weave tapestries of offensive material the Gameforms
Project can not be held responsible for. w00t Consider yourself duly
warned.
Sometimes I believe the internet was designed to piss me off, especially when I read stupid editorials like this one, the best and worst television series finales. I saw the article and hoped they would mention the last episode of MASH, possibly the most dramatic heart wrenching episode of any television show ever. And oh it was there all right. As the #1 worst series finale of all time.
WTF!?
I really don’t see why this guy hates on the greatest last episode to any series. Even if he didn’t like it, it certainly isn’t the worst TV finale. At least it didn’t pull a fscking “Dallas” and say the Korean War was all a dream. Obviously this guy just wanted to stir up some stupid trouble for no real reason. I hate when people purposely try to create this dumb controversy. There was some news story a while back about how some new edition of the dictionary has the word “Mc-job” in it, the definition being an undesirable job. McDonalds got all upset and threatened to sue and the story got tossed around various news networks and the like. When I first found out about it I thought it was the dumbest thing ever. Ooh, look out, the dictionary company is stirring up trouble! Seriously, what the hell. You don’t need you to pull asshat stunts like this to sell dictionaries. I’m pretty sure that if I needed to look up a word I’d run out and buy one, not because I thought the dictionary company was “sticking it to the man.” God people are dumb sometimes.
In other news Megaman has finally landed on planet America, and it is good. The anime plays everyday on Kids WB, Viz has released the Rockman.EXE manga and best of all, the trading card game is getting a release. Granted it’s coming from Decipher who prints all the other card games absolutely no one plays, including Boy Crazy, the worst idea in the history of CCGs. But even though I’ll be the only kid collecting Megaman cards I think I’ll be content. Maybe I can get some starter decks and force my friends to play. Or who knows, maybe the Megaman craze will finally catch on in America and I can dominate some little kids at tournaments or whatever. Like those creepy 45 year old guys who still play Pokemon cards. Those guys are scary.
Anyhow, today’s topic is video game spin-offs, the act of taking a character from an established series or game and giving them their own adventure! You all came up with some ideas for spin-offs, so let’s get down to it.
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Floating Cities Are Cool
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My spin-off wouldn't involve a person, but a place: Zeal Kingdom.
There's so many questions about Zeal Kingdom that remain unknown! It'd be nice to know just how Queen Zeal stumbled across Lavos. And where King Zeal is. And why the Earthbound ones couldn't use Lavos'
powers. And where Janus got a purple cat from! And most importantly,
what was Zeal Kingdom's fate in the original timeline when Crono didn't
show up and wake Lavos causing Zeal Kingdom to go bye bye.
~Shrubey
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Zeal Kingdom was always my favorite place in Chrono Trigger, it had this whole mystique about it. It was this ancient civilization, forgotten by time. A utopia where scholars and inventors put forth new marvels like magic. It was just great, exploring this amazing civilization that was destined for ruin. I’d love to see a game that focuses on some of the mysteries of Zeal, especially with some focus on Schala and Janus(Magus). I always felt like some parts of Chrono Trigger were incomplete, and Zeal Kingdom was one of them. I really hated when the Kingdom was destroyed because you couldn’t explore it anymore.
It really was the coolest part of the game. Floating cities always are.
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The work these people are doing really is fantastic. Every environment looks like it was taken straight out of the original game, especially the end of time and the world map. I think Crono’s character model looks a little wonky but it’s still amazing. Unfortunately they don’t have any plans to remake the whole game, hell it’d be impossible with the small staff they have now. In a perfect universe Squaresoft would see what an awesome job these guys are doing and make it an official project. I would also have a pony. Unfortunately, seeing as I do not have a pony this is obviously not a perfect world.
Still, I’m absolutely amazed by the quality of their work. I’d love to see them work on some of the combat.
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Raiden Plays Checkers
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I think Hideo should make another card-based MGS strategy game for the PSP, although in this one, you play as fat, drunken, has-been, trailer-trash bastard Raiden, and the whole point of the game is to use as many military implements as possible to THRASH ROSE'S INSECURE TEENY-BOPPING ASS. It should be called Metal Gear Solid: Wife Beater, or something. That's what I call a spin-off.
I think gamers might have embraced MGS2 a bit more readily if, like the original MGS, its torture scenes had had more direct results on the storyline.
"You mean Ocelot rapes and murders Rose if I give up?!"
(Cue the sound of millions of gamers worldwide pressing SELECT to QUIT.)
Bliss.
I also hear a lot of people going on about how Clank should ditch Ratchet and star in his own game, but I think that's crap. Sure, Clank gets those neat robot flunkies, and he grows to Godzilla-like proportions, but I play those games for Ratchet's sweet SWEET arsenal: getting rid of him gets rid of the draw to the series for me. Keep the furball, please. He gets SMG's and atomic bombs.
And I'm still waiting for the equivalent of Death By Degrees for DMC's Trish. Maybe as a sidestory mini-game when you beat DMC3, like when you get Heihachi's quest at the end of Onimusha 3? Please, Capcom? Pretty please?
Peace.
-The Absu-
P.S. That new FF VII game where you play as one of the Turks... oh, if only that was coming for my dreamy GBA!!! But the fact that it's being made for a mobile has somehow convinced me that it'll be absolute crap. i don't know why.
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I really wonder what happens to Raiden after MGS2. I mean, yeah he and Rose go and have babies or whatever but is that the end of his stint as a covert operative? Is he just some crazy white haired guy in NYC now? Playing checkers with an old black guy named Murphy and telling him wild stories about the time he took on an overweight mad bomber in rollerskates? And Murphy just smiles knowingly and says “Sure Jack, whatever you say. It’s your move.”
I bet Raiden sucks at checkers.
Anyways, I like Ratchet and Clank as it is. They’re a great team. I just don’t think Clank could hold up a terribly interesting storyline without the keen witticisms of Ratchet. What Trish does during DMC really should be explored though, that’s a great idea for a game. She was hella cooler than that stupid Lucia anyhow.
As for the new FFVII game… all I can say is “Square sold out.”
I should make a t-shirt that says that…
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Pirates Still Rule
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Since MGS's Ninja was a suit worn by two different characters, I'd like
to see an MGS Ninja spin off. Ninjas are stealth masters after all. I
hate Raiden but using the sword in MGS2 was fun. Unlike most Ninja games that are based in a feudal age, MSG: Ninja would feature a technology centered Ninja.
The Ninja suit would be an upgraded model of the one in both MSG games.
To open up the MGS game play style, you'd be able hide and crawl on the
ceiling, with a drop down stealth sword attack. Put out lights to stalk
around in the dark with nightvision sight, etc.
I must address the Ninja vs. Pirate issue as well. Any good pirate
hunter would just wait until they're passed out drunk and throw them all in a cage, pirate scrouge stopped. Not anyone can be a Ninja because it takes physical and mental discpline to be one. Most ninja where not assassins, only rogue Ninjas where. They fought like they did to keep their family and village safe.
-Blaze Eagle
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I’d love to see a spin off of the original Metal Gear Solid where you play as Gray Fox. Cutting off Ocelot’s hand, slaughtering hallways full of soldiers, fighting with Snake, it’d be awesome. I loved playing as Raiden with the katana for the whole five minutes he got to use it in MGS2, so playing the whole game as a blade wielding ninja of pain would be completely awesome.
But though I think Ninjas are cool, pirates are still better. Ninjas’ stringy little bones are easily broken, and the little bastards can’t even swim! Pirates rule!
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I Hate Toad
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Hey CG
I must be in some kind of angsty mood, because I keep thinking about spinoffs that have very dark stories to them. Then again, maybe it's not angst but rather the hope that game companies will start trying things outside of the usual cliches. Since I just made that last comment I'm going to send out kudos to Capcom who are at least trying new things with the likes of Viewtiful Joe, P.N.O.3, and Killer 7. But, needless to say it will be sub 0 C in Satan's domain before we would see the likes of these games.
FFX: The Sequel/Prelude that Should Have Been
See the prelude to FFX through the life of Jecht, Auron, and Braska. Jecht, a man trying to be the father he thinks is best for the future of his son while fully knowing he's failing at being the type of father he should be. Braska, who cared about people so indiscriminately that he loved the unlovable and was excommunicated for it. Auron, the monk who was exiled because he refused to marry out of duty. The three men go on a journey to save the people who have come to hate them so much. This would be a dark, sad story, but just thinking this makes me realize how much booty this game would kick. No fancy teams swapping or tricks. Just Jecht, Auron, and Braska kicking butt, coming to terms with themselves, and finding some type of redemption for themselves.
The Koopas Strike Back
After years of toiling under the rule of an oppressive monarchy the plebes decide to strike back. Guide your army of Koopas, Goombas, Bowser, etc. against the aristocracy of the Mushroom Kingdom.This would be best as a Real time strategy or a SRPG. The Hammer Brothers being the long range attackers; Chomps, Stomps, and those pipe-Venus-Fly-Trap things as defenders; Kooopa ParaTroopas for aerial assualt, and Bowser as the commander. The possibilities for this game would be phenomenal if it could ever get off the ground.
Quolon - who probably enjoyed playing both sides of the war a little too much in Arc the Lad: TOS
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I think I’d rather play through FFX if it starred some characters with some depth to them, rather than some whiny teenagers. I’m getting a little miffed by these RPGs with the big standard seven person parties. Why not bring it down to like two or three? The characters form much more intimate relationships that way. I also love your idea because there aren’t any girls, so the developers don’t have to worry about tacking on the obligatory love story. Can’t people save the world without falling in love as they do it? It’s just getting goddamn repetitive.
Now, a Mario strategy game is the best idea I’ve heard all day, especially one starring Bowser. I’d love to see something like Advance Wars, Goombas are the basic infantry, Koopas are the heavy infantry, the hammer brothers are like tanks, etc. And of course the opposing force would have to be the mushroom people, who I would love to wreak havoc upon. I hate Toad and his brethren. May my wrath rain like fire from the heavens down upon them.
And I should really play Arc the Lad: TOS… it’s still on my shelf in the shrink-wrap. Too many goddamn RPGs to finish these days.
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In conclusion, I have a math final tomorrow so I should wrap this column up. There really isn’t much to be said though. Spin-offs are cool I guess.
Yay.
For Monday, what do you think about RPG party sizes? As I was saying earlier, sometimes it’s better to limit the number of characters so there’s more intimacy between them. The more characters you add, it seems the less they form bonds with others. Then again, a lot of characters can add variety and different reactions towards the events happening in game. Some games can pull off large parties well, while some pack in a lot of characters and don’t really focus enough on giving the characters depth. So RPGs and party sizes, how many adventurers are just too much? E-mail me at letters@gameforms.com and let me know.
This is Chris Gesualdi, who prays he doesn’t bomb this damned math final. Wish me luck!
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